Breaks a Little More
by Elf and Imp
Summary: Ryou Bakura thinks about one Yami Bakura while standing in the snow. Is continued. Chapter 4 up: 'Rain, Rain'
1. Freezing inside

Elf: *bounces up and down* YAY!!! first fic, first fic, first fic!  
  
Imp: -.- is not.  
  
Elf: O.O but it could be!!!  
  
Imp: nope.  
  
Elf: awhh . . . T.T  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
. . . Its snowing.  
  
Christmas time was a cheerful time. All flashing multi-colored lights, candycanes, brightly colored wrapping paper, and laughter.  
  
But for me?  
  
Christmas isn't anything for me, nothing but painful reminders of unloving people.  
  
Snowflakes fall, glittering, reflecting sparks or light from the window of my house.  
  
Its so cold out here. Inside . . . inside looks so very warm and welcoming.  
  
But I know the truth, for looks can be deceiving.  
  
It is but a house, not a home. A home is something you have with someone who you love and they love you. A home is not a physical thing.  
  
My yami waits for my within that building. Even on the dark, frigid night, I stand outside my house in the streets, in the cold, snow gathering in my silvery hair, because out here is warmer than in that house.  
  
My house is always empty.  
  
No matter if I am in it, and Bakura, too, its very empty. There is no warmth in there even as the fire burns; and there is no happiness in the even as the Christmas tree gleams and the lights sing little Christmas carols.  
  
If I go inside, perhaps my body would be warm, but my soul? My spirit?  
  
They would continue to freeze faster than before.  
  
I love him.  
  
I know it sounds sick to say I love someone who looks so very much like me. Humph. I don't expect others to understand.  
  
To almost everyone, we are exact replicas of each other.  
  
No one sees him the way I do.  
  
I'll agree that we might have some physical resemblance to each other, but when I look at him?  
  
I don't see that sharp sneering face.  
  
I Don't see those crimson eyes. I don't see that silvery hair.  
  
I see . . .  
  
Nothing.  
  
He is very empty.  
  
No heart, nor soul, nor spirit to talk of.  
  
But he is my yami, my other, the missing half of me.  
  
Perhaps that is why.  
  
Perhaps he is empty because I am always full.  
  
Full of happiness, or energy, or patience . . .  
  
Or Pain.  
  
I am so full of pain right now.  
  
Every time I look at him, something within me catches, and tightens, and twists.  
  
Every time he glares at me, I can't breathe through the pain.  
  
Every time I say something that he ignores, it jerks in my chest and threatens to break completely, all at once.  
  
Every time.  
  
And Every time he hits me?  
  
Every time he hits me I am at peace. Because that shows me that he knows that I am there, I'm being acknowledged, I am receiving physical contact from him.  
  
That doesn't mean I enjoy it.  
  
That thing in my chest twists again.  
  
My fingers twitch with pain.  
  
A snowflake lands on my nose, and it wrinkles just before I sneeze.  
  
Now that I am shaken from my thoughts, I shake my head, knocking loose the snow that had gathered in my hair. I walk to my house, open the front door and step inside.  
  
I freeze again.  
  
I freeze inside as I take off all the snow dampened clothing and set it aside. I head for the kitchen and stop in my tracks.  
  
Bakura was waiting. He stood, glaring at me.  
  
"Its about time you got here, weakling." he snarls. He walks by, a fist catching me in my stomach, and he continues out the door.  
  
I slowly slid down to the floor, clutching my abdomen.  
  
That something within me breaks a little more.  
  
After a moment, I stand, barely aware of the tears falling down my face.  
  
I head to the stove, and grab a pot, setting in on a burner. I walk to the refrigerator and grab the milk and chocolate.  
  
Making hot chocolate always made me feel better, always relaxed me.  
  
It won't stop the tears, thought.  
  
When I was in my house, the tears rarely stopped.  
  
I wish I had a home. 


	2. A recognition of Fire

Elf: ^_^ Hey! Me be sowwy dat me takeses such a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time, but de grades and all . . .  
  
Imp: *rolls eyes* I tell her to do her homework, but does she listen???? NOOOOOOOO . . .  
  
Imp: 0.o Anywho, dis be second part of Balm!!!! YAY!!!! *does a little dance*  
  
  
  
  
  
%%%%%%%&&&&B.A.L.M PART TWO!!!!!!!&&&&&&&&%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
I was perched on the kitchen counter, a cup of coffee cupped in my hands. The warmth was slowly seeping into me, and I was almost at peace. I glanced at the clock, which read 11:53 PM, and frowned with worry.  
  
Bakura was still not home.  
  
I shifted on my seat; no matter how warm that cup of coffee was, my rear end was nearly frozen solid! Finally I could take it no more.  
  
"Cold counter! Cold Counter!" I yelped, leaping up and trying to rub warmth back in. "Cold, so very cold . . ." I pouted, setting the empty cup aside.  
  
I headed back to the living room and flopped onto the couch, blowing vainly at the hair covering my eyes. It fell right back.  
  
I jumped when the door banged open. Bakura stormed in with a flurry of snowflakes and sleet, and a dark aura surrounding him.  
  
"Where have you been?" I asked with fear, forgetting to close my mouth when he was here. I slapped my palms over my mouth, terror raging through me. Bakura looks at me, crimson eyes glowing, a dark, morbid glare aimed in my direction.  
  
He strode forward on heavy feet, the darkness about him growing to an almost tangible creature. He grabbed my shirt collar, shaking me.  
  
"Who, in the hell do you think you are to interrogate me?!" He snarled. "I hate you. I LOTHE you! You are such a weakling!!"  
  
That thing in my chest twists, and I can almost swear it cried out. I know my soul did.  
  
"You are a groveling dog, a worm! I can't believe I have to put up with you! I can't believe I haven't KILLED you!"  
  
My eyes widened, and that thing in my chest conspired with my soul, and together they rebelled. Before I knew it, my hand flashed out, and Bakura jerked back, startled by the pain on right side of his face.  
  
"What the fuck is WRONG with you!?" I screamed. My brain was staggering around going 'which way did he go, George, which way did he go?' as my soul and its friend took over my body.  
  
"My GODS!! I've taken care of you, I've helped you; while you were gathering strength, who in the HELL carried your insane spirit in their body???? Certainly not MALIK!!! yet you beat me and take off to his house ALL the time!!! I fucking FREED you from that DAMNABLE Millennium Ring!! I HARDLY think that I'M the weak one!!! Killed me by now??? The fuck! I don't think you could kill me if you TRIED!!!"  
  
I panted, glaring at the startled yami. His crimson eyes were wide with shock, and a little with recognition. What he had recognized, I couldn't tell, but it obviously shook him to his core.  
  
Abruptly, he spun, stomping up the stairs to our bedroom. "Don't you EVER speak to me like that again." his burning snarl reached back to me, and then the door slamed. I stared after him for a moment, and my brain took over.  
  
"What the fuck was I thinking?" I demanded quietly. "What the fuck was THAT??"  
  
I sighed, and flung myself onto the couch.  
  
Bakura had recognized something about himself.  
  
And so had I.  
  
I wasn't all snow.  
  
I had _fire_.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Elf: Dankes all of you who reveiwed! I shall dankes yall when I have more time!!  
  
Imp: BYE! 


	3. Don't Let Me Drown Alone

Elf: *looks pitiful* Don't be angry! I was having mental difficulties!  
  
Imp: And when she's got them, so do I.  
  
Elf: So heres the next part of Balm!  
*^*^*^*^*^* Don't Let me Drown Alone*^*^*^**^  
  
I paced in the living room nervously, casting glances at my yami's bedroom. He had blocked our link, but I was sure he was planning my torture to be as painful and drawn out as possible.  
  
How could he know he had already succeeded?  
  
My Love for him was everlasting, it would never go away.  
  
And just knowing that it would never be returned was worse than any physical pain he could put me through. I wouldn't kill my body, so I would continue to live, and I was in constant pain.  
  
Kill myself?  
  
Yes, I had thought on that, often and long.  
  
But even though it was pain to be around him, It was almost a pleasurable pain.  
  
He was so beautiful.  
  
Have you ever taken a knife in your hand, so bright, so silver, so sharp that it is almost perfection? It is so beautiful, so deadly . . .  
  
That is the beauty Bakura had.  
  
So perfect, so sharp, and oh so very deadly . . .  
  
He was like a drug that I could not stop taking. I knew he hurt me, but I couldn't stop, he was so addicting . . .  
  
A flash of lightening shook me from my thoughts. The following thunder shook the house.  
  
It had begun raining shortly after Bakura went to his room. It was comming down in torrents, faster and faster.  
  
~Oh, no . . .~ I thought to myself. ~Rain is bad, rain puts out fire . . . ~  
  
A brighter flash of lightening followed by a louder rumble of thunder shook the house angrily. I yelped in fright.  
  
~No! Rain is good! Good rain! Good Rain!~ I thought frantically, trying to applease it.  
  
Encouraged, it rained harder.  
  
With worry and apprehension, I made my way to the window and looked out. The streets were non-existent, frothing brown water rushing down them. Rain was not supposed to come yet, especially not this much. A hurricane must have formed over the ocean and sent this storm over.  
  
Another round of thunder shook the house, and a door boomed open.  
  
I spun around in panic, seeing my seething yami at the top of the stairs. He glared at me, and I couldn't move. A slight whimper escaped me, and I slowly collapsed, my muscles failing in face of this new terror. He sneered, crimson eyes full with disgust, and slowly desended down the stairs.  
  
With an irrational thought, Bakura changed in my eyes. He was no longer human, he was a sleek, frosty furred tiger, descending from his lair to feast upon his helpless prey, a forest deer that traveled too long and too far from its herd, taking his time, knowing that his prey couldn't flee.  
  
He loomed above me, and my mind shut down, running, gibbering with a terror so deep it threatened to drive me insane. I shut my eyes, a plea for mercy escaping me.  
  
Pain exploded in my head, stars bursting in front of my eyes. Pain blossomed elsewhere, and I cried out, the intensity of physical pain fighting for dominance about the ripping agony of the emotional, that thing in my chest screaming for any hint of mercy that anything, anybody, could give it.  
  
The blows continued to rain upon my broken body, the raging waves of agony inside me tearing at my broken spirit.  
  
I searched within myself frantically, trying to find that which had saved me before, searching for my fire.  
  
"Time to say goodbye, weakling." Bakura spoke. "I shall kill you now."  
  
Everything within me came to a stop. Kill me . . .  
  
NO!  
  
The fire within me roared to life. I was far too addicted to the dark spirit to let him kill me and end the pain he brought me.  
  
I surged to my feet, shoving him back with the strength of the desperate. If you have ever been addicted, you know of the inhuman strength you can summon when your addiction is being threatened.  
  
I spun, my body protesting against this, crying out in pain, but I snapped at it, demanding with a coldness I didn't know that I had that it obey me. I ran for the door, flinging it open, Sloshing out into the water. I bit my lip as it stung my cuts, the filthy water was sure to give me an infection.  
  
I heard Bakura coming after me, and panic gave me motion. I wished I could run, but that was nearly impossible with the water swirling around my thighs.  
  
"WEAKLING!" Bakura yelled. "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!"  
  
I cried out as his hand knotting into my hair, yanking me back. I twisted in his grasp and smashed my fist into his face. I'm not sure where it landed, but he gave a muffled curse and let go. I fled onward, the world blurring around me. I hear the ocean roaring in my ears, and without thinking, I fling myself into it, the salty water surronding me like a lover's embrace, warm and welcoming, yet burning my cuts and wounds.  
  
A cruel hand tightens on my leg and drags me back. Filled with panic and anger, I spun in my yami's grasp and my hand finds a length of driftwood. I punch him again, but he snarls and refuses to let go, ruby eyes almost glowing in the darkness. Without thought, I swung the driftwood out of the water, and with a sickening thud, it connected with Bakura's head.  
  
Time slowed down.  
  
The driftwood slid from my nerveless fingers.  
  
Bakura's bright Crimson eyes stare at me with shock, and slowly became glazed.  
  
His hand slid from my leg.  
  
Time speed up.  
  
I cried out in horror at what I had done as Bakura's body slid under the waist deep water, tugged down by the currents. I flung my hands out into the water, searching for my yami, my addiction.  
  
"BAKURA!" I screamed, filling like the horror and the pain was drowning me.  
  
I searched frantically, not finding him. Then, some ways away, I saw a flash of white in the brackish water. I sloshed toward it, my hands tightening on my yami's shirt. I dragged him against me, slogging toward the shore.  
  
"Don't leave me!" I sobbed, crying from disbelief and the saltwater in my eyes. "I'm Sorry! I didn't mean to! Don't leave me! DON'T LET ME DROWN ALONE!!!!!"  
  
I dragged his limp body onto the wet sand, falling beside him. I forced myself up onto my knees, dragging him against me. I felt frantically for a pulse on his icy skin, and cried out in relief when I found one.  
  
I scooped my yami into my arms, struggling to stand. I staggered up the beach, tripping on the sand that shifted under my shoes. To my surprise, the sky lightened, and the rain left, sated with its flooding downpour.  
  
Luckily, my house wasn't all that far from the beach. Had it been more than the half-mile, I don't think I could have every carried my yami there, as tired and aching as I was, even with my fire still burning bright.  
  
I carried to the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water, stripping him and laying him in it. I searched his head for any injury, and didn't find it. Looking into his face, I watched in surprise as the bruise on his cheek vanished.  
  
I sighed in relief. I had forgotten. Yamis heal so very quickly. Slowly, his eyes began to flutter open. He lurched into awareness, arms flailing, panicked. I grabbed his arms and pushed him back, trying to get him to stay in the warm water, trying to calm him before he hurt himself.  
  
His eyes glazed over again, and he slumped back into the water, looking lost and confused.  
  
"Shh . . . yami, you're back in the house." I murmured.  
  
His eyes focused, and he looked at me, a strange look in those crimson pools. His lips moved slightly, a bemused whisper escaped them. "You saved me . . ."  
  
I drew back, suddenly frightened. I stood and got a towel, setting it on the sink. I quickly retreated, closing the door behind me. Gently setting my forehead against it, my fire sputtered, dying down to embers, tired. Quietly, I repeated the words I said on the beach.  
  
"Don't leave me. I'm Sorry. I didn't mean to. Don't leave me. Don't let me drown alone."  
  
~~~TBC~~~  
  
Elf: YOU LIKE?????  
  
Imp: Do we care if they like it or not? I liked it.  
  
Elf: O.o YES! OF COURSE we care if they like it!  
  
Imp: -.- Okay, folks. Tell us it you liked it.  
  
Elf: AND IF WE SHOULD PUT UP OUR WEREWOLF FIC!  
  
Imp: O.@ Stop shouting! 


	4. Rain, Rain

Disclaimer: If Yugioh was mine to own, The show would be Eccentric! But since I can't and since I don't, I just wrote this Fan-fic! ^.^;;;  
  
Warning: SHORT CHAPTER  
  
By: Elf and Imp  
^^^***********Rain, Rain*********^^^^^^^^^^ ~*~*~*~* 3 months after the incident in Balm. ~*~*  
  
I was out walking. My Yami had become a little less sever. I was beaten less often. Sometimes all the cuts had healed and all the bruises had faded away before I was taught another lesson.  
  
Sometimes, my Yami would sit beside me on the couch and complain about the stupidity and unlikeliness of a TV show, or a Movie.  
  
I had almost laughed last month when we had watched an American movie, The Matrix. He had been extremely outraged by its contents. He hated technology, and the thought of it turning us into batteries had sent him into fits of rage. It had been so bad he even attacked the TV with a baseball bat, and glared at the toaster in suspicion for days after.  
  
It was spring, now, and rained almost everyday. I was walking in the light drizzle, headed for the coast. I climbed up and onto a rocky outcropping and stared at the Ocean.  
  
Oceans have always held a certain amount of appeal to me, but I'm not sure why. They seemed to have emotions, to _BE_ emotions. The ocean is always described with words for emotion. Its calm, or angry, or restless.  
  
Right now, the ocean was restless, and all the waves had foamy white caps, bring to mind my Yami, Bakura.  
  
He was different now, that was for sure. He no long was who he used to be. I remember thinking to myself that when I looked at him, I didn't see anything.  
  
I can not say that now. When I look at my Yami, I see something there; something that grew from the recent incidents.  
  
I sighed as the clouds darkened, and thunder rumbled; the winds picked up, and rain came down in torrents. I stood, headed for home. I stepped in the door and dashed upstairs, into the bathroom to take a warm bath. The door swung open, and Bakura glared at me for a moment, my shirt dangling from my finger tips.  
  
He snorted, his eyes skittering away and he tossed me a towel.  
  
"You trailed water in, baka." He snapped, closing the door with quick, sharp movements.  
  
I turned and set the towel on the rack, finished stripping, and turned the water on hot.  
  
Yes, there was something there when I looked at my Yami. He didn't look like nothing to my eyes anymore.  
  
Yami Bakura looked like rain.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Imp: *banging head against the table* I just realized that I HATE THESE SORT OF FICS!!!  
  
Elf: O.o But you wrote one.  
  
Imp: *sighs* Yes, I know. Writing one is usually how I find out, or I find out right in the middle of writing one.  
  
Elf: Will we finish this?  
  
Imp: Yes, but its gonna be a sorry ending cuz I hate this story.  
  
Elf: So, pretty much no more serious fanfics?  
  
Imp: That sums it up.  
  
Elf: O.o All humor in some way?  
  
Imp: Yes. Now go get me some sugar so that I don't have to think in a sane way anymore.  
  
Elf: Aye, Aye, yami! *bounes off* 


End file.
